I’m writing to you from the future or the past.
For context, I’m listening to this song:
Welcome to the weirdness. Do you ever have a super long night or weekend and the whole day after all you want to do is fall asleep? Just, all damn day. Like, I want to fall asleep the entire time, but I’m keeping myself awake because it is 1:30PM and normal people are awake at this time.
This is what I did today. Pictured here is my brother’s girlfriend Kaylee. We were in awe at this waterfall which is located super close to where we all live. It was so gorgeous and unexpected, considering this isn’t exactly the area to find really cool waterfalls. The hiking trails are perfect, too. There’s a trail that takes you to an overlook, which we got to first. From there, we saw the waterfall for the first time and it was way bigger than we expected. A woman was swimming to the very bottom of the waterfall and you could tell just how deep the water is at the bottom.
I’m pretty sure it’s illegal to swim there considering it’s a conservation area, but… how could you not? It was about 87 degrees fahrenheit with like 100% humidity.
We all wanted to rip our clothes off and jump in, but no one brought a swimsuit considering this was our first time there and children were present so skinny-dipping wasn’t an option either. I decided the spot was a romantic place to sneak in and have really cool sex with someone you’re super in love with before they break your heart.
I was really feeling the vibes of this waterfall. It seemed like we sat in silence and stared at it for a good hour – probably less though. I could have sat there forever, but my brother finally called it and we headed back to the car. On the way back, a cow fly (as my brother called it – according to the Internet, that’s not a real type of fly) found Boots and decided to torture him.
I knew something had bitten Boots because he tends to freak out and bite at himself whenever that happens. He eats his bug prey if he can. Earlier today, he got stung by our bees for the second time this week. Boots still does not understand that the bees are in a very aggressive mood lately and that he needs to stay away from their hive.
Anyway, the fly was as big as a small bird. It was definitely bigger than a horse fly and it looked more like a hummingbird than an insect. It chased Boots down the trail. Poor Boots kept looking back and fast-walked down the trail, trying to lose the damn thing. The fly took breaks to rest, at which point my brother tried to find it and kill it, but he was never successful. We just found this fly appearing every now and then to bite Boots on our walk back. Evan had been bitten by the “cow fly” before and he described the bites as similar to a triple bee sting or 10 mosquito bites at once.
This information triggered a flight-or-flight response when the cow fly would fly past my ear occasionally in an attempt to get to Boots. Why the fly targeted Boots and not any of us, I’ll never know. I was grateful, though, which made me think back to 1984, which I just finished reading for the first time on the train home from New York City this weekend. I thought back to the part at which O’Brien is torturing Winston by putting a cage of hungry rats to his face and he begs him to put the cage on Julia instead. Then both of them discuss betraying each other later, how at that moment they truly wanted to watch the person s/he loved the most getting their face eaten by rats before it would happen to them. I’m sorry, Boots. I didn’t think of it in that way.
That book was super messed up. All of their responses were natural psychological human responses to torture, even though O’Brien made it seem like it was some kind of innovative mind control. I guess that’s how government-run dictatorships work to commit genocide IRL, I don’t know.
So after we drove home, I fell asleep somewhat immediately and unlike usual, I didn’t wake up a few hours later. No, I got a solid 6 or 7 hours of sleep and woke up around 10PM. Fuck.
And here I am, knowing that my sleep schedule is fucked up yet again, knowing that I’m not sure how to fix it. I blame getting home at 1:30 in the morning last night along with my own weakness.