The wintertime is rough and I knew that getting into beekeeping. Keeping them strong and alive through the winter was the most important part of the process. However, we didn’t really expect a sharp -10º average drop in temperature for a week… or two? Idk how long it was. It felt like years of living in the negatives.
When I first noticed my dog was dying, really, this time, she seemed asleep, but she wasn’t. She looked up at me with a yearning to rise up and greet me like she used to: tail wagging, eyes twinkling, and sometimes her whole body would shake with a sensation of happiness I may never know myself. Her body had fallen into the crevice between her blanket-covered bed and what could only be described as a poster board.
A few years ago, I was on a connecting flight from Little Rock to Albany, on one of those teensy planes for people flying from one weird place to another. The woman who had the aisle seat next to me looked either tired or distraught about something that wasn’t any of my business, but she turned to me anyway and explained that she was on this plane because her sister had just died. She was heading to her funeral.
A few months ago (and I’m still not really sure how this whole Mystery Illness is going to turn out), I admit it, I thought I was going to straight up die. I thought I was going to die slowly, in a hospital somewhere, with no diagnosis, probably alone in Los Angeles. I never really thought enough about dying alone to be afraid of it. It didn’t make much sense to me. Who cares? No one really knows what dying is like anyway – what’s the difference if you’re with someone or alone? Feeling deep inside that you may be dying brings about certain truths
I’m sure you’ve all heard of the bleak and dreaded Mid-Life Crisis. Legend says, once you hit your mid-forty’s to mid-fifty’s you start thinking about impending death, how half of your life is over, and how it’s all an uphill struggle from here. Common symptoms include buying a toupee and/or a new car, a psychological sign that you’re either trying to make yourself feel better or you need to make up for the lost time you spent at a dead-end job or raising your high school drop out children. I could talk all day about this, but I’ve never experienced it, and that’s not why I’m here. I’m talking about the Quarter-Life Crisis.